(I may or may not be attempting to write this with Disney+ blaring in the background, so don't mind me...)
As we are all adjusting to our current normal we can easily find ourselves in an almost groundhogs day scenario. I know for a hard fact our daughter was wearing pajamas more often than clothing, and a tank of gas is still lasting four times longer than it used to. If you think about it we still aren't going out with friends spending the day laughing in the ways we used to, we aren't traveling the world and experiencing new things, and for some of us we still can't enjoy going out for a quick bite at our favorite local restaurant. All of these changes and new normal can really throw our self love journey down the stairs. Spending more time at home can give us more time to really focus on the parts of us we don't like, and I'm not just talking about the physical, but the emotional and environmental things as well. This new normal can feel like a whole lot of negatives. When it isn't all bad. We need to find a way to put our self love front and center, especially now.
Which had me thinking, how can we flip the script on this new normal? What can we do right now to make what feels like a negative experience something positive? After some research, chatting with friends, and posing the question to all my badass VIPs I've come up with some answers on how love yourself right now during and hopefully post pandemic.
if it doesn't make you happy let it go
I’m talking full on Marie Kondo style, if something if your life doesn’t bring you joy let it go. Things, people, ideas, dreams, everything. Our lives have permanently changed, we now see things differently than we ever had before. Our eyes have been opened to things we may have overlooked in the past, for example, this experience may have pushed us to want to travel more, or be a homeschooling parent less. Maybe we rediscovered our favorite quiet corner of the house that we don’t spend enough time in or maybe we realized it is definitely time to move. Maybe you’ve spent so much more time on social media you realized friends of the past aren’t people you aline with anymore, maybe you’ve found new friends, or connected with old ones you’ve been meaning to catch up with for years. Regardless now is the perfect time to purge from you life what isn’t bringing happiness and joy. The first step in loving yourself is surrounding yourself with positivity and with things that make you happy. So if you have friends on social media that are only bringing frustration and anger, let them go. Realized you hate your job, start the search for a new one. Decided it is time to move on, go for it. Consider this your sign to give all those things pulling you down one more hug, then chuck them out the window. Metaphorically, of course.
give yourself a timeout
Seriously, you’ve been bad, go sit in your room alone, away from the kids, away from the pets, away from the spouse, away from work, your phone, tv, all of the distractions. Find something that brings you peace, grab a good book, a face mask, crossword puzzles, meditation music, air guitar, whatever. Then spend 15-30 minutes a day alone doing something for you. Spending time loving yourself is never a bad thing.
make a modern dream board
Put down the glitter, magazines, and scissors. We aren’t going full on early 90s collage here, I mean you can if you want, glitter on girly, but you don’t have to. Start with making a list of things you want, places you want to go, things you want to accomplish and then pick your top wants and put them on a board. You can get super fancy and add photos, or you can just make a wish list of goals. Something to refer to to help bring the focus on what you want, putting yourself first. By being more mindful of what we want, it is so much easier to go for it.
For me I started with a digital collage, where I grabbed pictures and added a few words. I focused on somewhere I want to visit, a long term goal, a short term goal, a business goal, and a personal goal. By putting what I want in a clear and simple board it allows me to hone in on what makes me happy, or at least what I think will make me happy. Now we just wait and see. And P.S. it is okay to change you mind and update your board as much as you freakin want. It is your dreams, you don't need to be apologetic for what you want, instead scream it out! Just remember you aren't being selfish when you put your happiness first. You can't truly love others without loving yourself, like the great RuPaul says, “If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
positive affirmations with a twist
I want you to repeat after me… I am a badass …. I deserve what I want and I don’t have to apologize for what I want or who I am! Okay, now for the twist part, write yourself a thank-you note. Seriously. Being thankful for you being you and telling yourself is a great way to practice daily gratitude. Give yourself the opportunity to push all the negative out and find the positive in everything around you.
Loving ourselves is a journey and not a final destination (which I've heard from the great Teri Hofford more times than I can count) it isn't like dig-dong I'm here. Instead it is a constant journey, enjoy the ride, and do a few things for you this weekend! xo Tara